Here's a brief contribution to the perennial 'how should we raise our kids?' debate that is currently raging afresh thanks to Amy Chua.
One popular parenting technique among well-off, educated American parents is to massively curtail their children's consumption of video games. It an approach with which I have a lot of sympathy.
Despite the fact that video games 1) do improve hand-eye coordination, 2) can offer entertaining ways to learn everything from languages to math concepts and 3) will get even sedentary kids jumping around their living rooms, I'm happy to side with those who say that for the most part children can find more rewarding things to do.
But does that mean no video games ever? I don't see why. My children have discovered Angry Birds and love the game. They'd play it all morning if I let them. And on Monday, a school holiday, they did.
But here's the cool thing. At 8:10 AM my six-year old decided that Angry Birds would be a great way to start the day. I knew he'd bug me incessantly if I said no (he has great focus in such situations). So I said yes, he could play on my iPhone for ten minutes only, as could his sister.
At 8:30 AM I took away the phone. The kids' wanted to keep the game going, but knew my limit was a firm one. So they found another way to get what they wanted. They built their own Angry Birds game -- in 3D.
This occupied them for next three and a half hours. Doing it required listening to each other and working together to a common end, along with the ability to take a 2D concept and realize it in three dimensions. They drew their own birds and pigs, adding new ones of their own creation. Then they scored the game.
Math, problem solving, creativity, cooperation. Left-brain and right-brain thinking. All inspired by ten minutes of extremely fun video play. Everyone happy. Lots of blocks getting noisily smashed everywhere. What's not to like about that?
My point here is not to call out my kids as exceptional. Just the opposite. I think they are utterly typical in their love of, and need for, play. And play, as people like Chua seem to forget, is an extraordinary vehicle for both emotional and intellectual growth.
But some of Chua's fiercest critics would be as uncomfortable as she appears to be in allowing their kids recreational screen time. And yet play needs inspiration, and if that sometimes (and quite properly) comes from books or real life experiences, it can just as productively spring from video games, or TV.
All that's required, really, is just the barest of parenting frameworks from within which to work.
It seems to me that we weren't working with much more than the following:
1) a clearly-set and firmly followed rule on video usage to which all agreed in advance
2) some available unscheduled time
3) some basic plays tools (blocks, paper, pens, an old catapult from a toy castle)
Once again, the parenting middle path, while not the one most likely to sell books or get people arguing, turns out to be the most humane and the most likely to add to a family's collective happiness and growth.
Here's one of their set ups, just before it got smashed.
