Girls go to Mars / to get more bras / Boys go to Jupiter / to get more stupider

Ada's suddenly into playground rhyming/clapping games. Being an adult of my time, that didn't immediately spur me to share with her the few routines I remembered from my youth. No, I went straight online to see if there was a comprehensive video reference guide to playground clapping games. And of course there is at least one. Being a child of her time, Ada had the same thought. "Let's look for other rhymes on your computer!"
 
Luckily, I distracted her and checked the site out first. The best one that I found is wonderful, but also, as Ada would put it, inappropriate. At least for a seven year old. While we might be able to deal with:
 
Girls are sexy made out of Pepsi
Boys are rotten, made out of cotton
Girls go to Mars to get more bras
Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider
 
I'm not so sure about:
 
Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck
she took him round the corner
and taught him how to . . .
fry an egg for breakfast
fry your eggs for tea
the more you eat
the more drink
the more you want to . . .
Peter had a boat
the boat began to rock
out jumped Jaws
and bit him on the . . .
cocktail, ginger ale, forty cents a glass
 
and so on.
 
As it happens, I grew up near where the Opies, those great child folklorists, lived and many of the songs and chants they collected survived in the playgrounds in which I played. But I don't remember them publishing material that pushed adult buttons to that degree.
 
If anyone knows of a video reference that's a little more . . . appropriate, please let me know.

5 responses
Simon, this made me laugh. I can remember my Nana getting cross with me and my 3 sisters for singing a variation on the rhyme you found which went:
Mary had a little lamb,
She thought him very silly,
She threw him up into the air,
And caught him by his,
Willy was a sheepdog lying in the grass,
Down came a bumblebee and stang him on the,
Ask no questions, tell no lies,
I saw a policeman doing up his,
Flies are a problem, wasps are worse,
And that is the end of my little verse.

Don't you worry - Ada will find her own rhymes to press your buttons.

Hiliarious! That first Mary Had a Little Lamb version is a bit risque I'll agree (though when I was that age I know I wouldn't have gotten the jokes.) These are a lot like the jump-rope rhymes we used to do, and Klutz has a whole book out of them. One that we used to do, and is a bit tamer, is:
Miss Suzie had a tugboat,
her tugboat had a bell.
Miss Suzie went to heaven,
her tugboat went to
HELLO, operator, please give me number 9,
And if you disconnect me, I'll kick you from
BEHIND the 'frigerator, there was a piece of glass.
Miss Suzie sat upon it,
and cut her little
ASK me no more questions,
I'll tell you no more lies.
The boys are in the bathroom
zipping up their
FLIES are in the park,
birds are in the trees,
the boys and girls are kissing in the
D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K, dark, dark, dark!

They also remind me of that classic old Spike Jones song "Shaving Cream"!

This is the one I always knew. (:

Miss Susie had a steam boat,
the steam boat had a bell "DING DING"
Miss Susie went to heaven,
the steamboat went to.
Hello operator, give me number 9
and if you disconnect me,
I'll kick you from
Behind the frigerator,
there was a peice of glass,
Miss Susie sat upon it
and cut her little
Ask me no more questions
tell me no more lies,
the boys are in the bathroom,
zipping up their
Flies are in the city,
bees are in the park,
Miss Susie and her boyfriend
are kissing in the
D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K, dark, dark,
darker than the ocean,
darker than the sea.
Darker than the underwear my mommy put on me
See, My daddy is a scientist
my mommy is a spy,
and I'm just a little kid from the FBI.

I know this one: Miss Susie had a steamboat The steamboat bad a bell Miss Susie went to heaven, the steamboat went to Hello operator Please give me number nine If if you disconnect me I’ll kick your little Behind the ‘frigerator, There was a piece of glass Miss Susie fell upon it, And cut her little Ask me no more questions, I’ll tell you no more lies This is what Miss Susie said the day before she died Miss Susie had a baby, His name was Tiny Tim She put him in the bathtub To see if he could swim He drank up all the water And ate up the soap He tried to eat the bathtub too, But it wouldn’t fit down his throat
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